Monday, July 28, 2008
Happie Birthday Hunnie dearest!!
11:44 PM
Sunday, July 27, 2008
My boy is turning 20.. and yikes.. time did passed really fast.. knew him like when he's 17? now's freaking 20 sounded so old.. wasn't really much prepared for this turning 20-yr-old phases.. it feels as if i'm still 18 yrs old.. oh well.. both of us are 2os now.. i just dunno what would be installed for us over coming decade we gotta have. well.. just hope it'd be a smooth sailing one.. i'll be working like one busy shit nurse.. he'd be studying with guys and pretty babes around his so called SIM.. which i don't think most girls went there for the sake of plain studying you know.. it's more like showcasing of their fashion (nope.. nothing about talents), flaunting their richie status, and acting bimbo around. i've been in NP & SIM compound simultaneously for 3 yrs. i know how to see.. well, push those bimbos aside. there's not really a total crate of rotten apples. i did see nerdies and really strive to work hard people around. oh well.. let's hope he wun be hooking up some pests around then.
11:18 PM
Thursday, July 24, 2008
9:54 AM
♫ ♫ ♪♥..U leave me breathless...♫ ♫ ♪♥
You're everything good in my life
U.. leave me breathless... ♪♥
I still can't believe that you're mine
U just walked out of one of my dreams..♫ ♫ ♪♥
So beautiful you're leaving me... ♪♥
♫ ♫ ♪♥ ..Breathless...♫ ♫ ♪♥
i may not have tell you. this song somehow brings me back to those days we used to shared. and i do treasure that alot.. trying desperately to find it back.. i was very secured back then, a very cheery and happy girl i am.. that kinda feeling i really missed.. reminds everything of you and the exact feeling i portray and tryna tell you.. so i guess this song has finally come and speak my heart. =)
oh well.. on a lighter note, this singer.. shayne ward.. i've been crazy over him for like.. months(not even a bit dread).. starting from this song.. that voice, captured and mesmerized me hardcore.. and when i see this mtv... wOoOoOo..................... i fell deeper into this heart-racing thingy with swirl.. @.@
sexy guy with beautiful green eyes and captivating voice.. heaven~ wOohOo!!
yes, i'm breathless..
9:00 AM
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Nothing but an empty vessel right now. define my feeling.
9:23 AM
Monday, July 21, 2008
"True Love does not come by finding the perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
all while i've tried to do it, and to believe that you are perfect. not for anyone but for me. the ever first impression of you, you have to maintain much as you could. not just slacken down when you've got me. Often deep down you know there's greener grasses on the other side, but you never felt the threat. but instead, try pushing me to anyone.
why couldn't you feel that what you held in your hand is precious & fragile?
5:40 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
dear peepos..i wanna say thank you to those who bother to wait for the clock to strike twelve & greeted this small role in your life. and those who surprised me with your sms, never have thought you would. those who give me all sorts of extravagant sms(s), who called in for concerns & willing to lend a listening ears. asking me out for a meal. days earlier or a day late greetings, it's still implies that you people cares. those who made a simple sms different. those who greeted me face to face, hugs, firm handshakes, BIG birthday song, "unique candle". i love it all.
i don't know how some of you remember, be it thru friendster, blog, facebook, friends, draw a big circle in your calender, create an alert on your phone, really remember it, tattoo on your skin. i am thankful for that effort. you all have in a way been value-added in my heart as friends i must keep.
Lastly, thank you hunnie. you are my dearest sweetheart i ever had. though it may be one of the not-so-happy birthday i had. still i must thank you all these years for standing by me as the biggest pressie. thank you for that lovely lil pearl pendant that you knew i am dying to have one. if not it wun have been of the almost the same kinda design i wore on my day(telepathy). I Love You, Hunnie! *huGgs & smooches*
these are all the belovables lovelies..
Hunnie (Mr Paul Chew TY)
Leona
Joreen (JG)
Eugene
Anna
Suraj (Mandy)
KokSeng
DaJie
Taz
Meena
YingYing
Asheta
SiokKuan
Alethia
Esther
Meijie
Hmone (Momo)
Leonice
Azri
Theinesh
Grace Cham
Joyce
Pambi
Penguin
Edwin
ChinSiang
the lady who scouted me for modelling(thanks, i finally met someone who shares the same bdae as i do.)
YongHong
Sharon de Silva
Andre
Crispen
Huan Jian
ZiChee
Wendy
Jehan
(in the order of sequence)
4:39 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Part I.my birthday.. tsk.. i do not know how to say..
i got drunk a day before my birthday.. anyone knows it?
not even hunnie.
when people thought i've left early from school to meet him up for a lil pre-celebration so called.
apparently quite disappointing, i binged in 1 bottle of coke and 2 Baron's Strong Brew Extra. knock-out.
no one understand the situation i'm in.
right to my room, and i slammed my head onto my bed for warmth & comfort.
i held onto my phone and hope the moment i open up my eyes, it's him who come for me.
a little special sms, or even a call when it striked twelve.
2.38am. i woke up to my message alert.
it's eugene 12.15am. anna dear 12.19am. suraj 12.35am. no calls.
i slept with a sunken heart.
6.11am he messaged. a very simple "
Happy 20th Birthday, Hunny."
this is all i got. something which i can even do better than that.
KokSeng, DaJie, Pambi, Penguin, Edwin, Andre, HuanJian & a few sms follows later after.
not to forget ChinSiang & YongHong's call-in. (already the very least expected people)
to school then went out with him.
the day ends off with his birthday sms.
"
Happy bithday to you. Happy birthday to you.Happy birthday to eLy, happy birthday to you.Happy Birthday girl. Enjoy your 20th birthday."
then zc, wendy, then jehan.
is that my birthday which just zoomed by?
i really hate my birthday this year.
2:48 PM
Part IIwhile in school before meetup with him, taz give me a very big warmth hug right when she see me. then meena, yingying and SK's greetings. alethia sang a very big birthday song that ends up everyone singing it at lift floorings. waited for 2nd lift as the 1st are packed with other people.. apparently they looked very shocked when the moment the lift opened and we are singing birthday song.. the song goes on and on in repetition with a faster singing each time. blushed & touched though. More than half the tutorial grp, over at Alumni House. and taz asked me a qn about the new Magnum icecream's flavour & whether have i tried it not... blah blah blah.. after finishing our lunch, my indian husband theinesh and azri walked in with a brownie topped with icecream flavour i preferred(thanks to my impish taz). all the way from megabites(435987426169 metres). everyone sang the nicest birthday song, tagging along are some extras over at tables nearby. it's been a very long time so many people sang it to me. sweetest cake & very "unique" candle huh, azri? an inexplicable happiness & very moved by what they've done. headed back to school for project filming, tag along for the sake of burning my time for the meetup at 3pm with him @Marina Sq. was scouted by modelling company (like again..). i reached early by 15minutes. but ended up suffering 15minutes more when he eventually meet me up 5pm. at that point of time, i feel like corporating with bomb specialist & blow myself up in as minced & bloody as i could. tell me how not to be angry?? worst, he don't even say a sorry.to Pariss, chose white wine & settled down at a very quiet corner with food galore. he presented me a limited piece of pearl necklace(i don't like diamonds like what most girls do, i love pearl). much similar to the one i'm wearing from yesterday's shopping kills i bought. quite dumbfounded but not that surprised as i wanted one, centuries ago. but i do appreciate that he remembers & FINALLY(after 28months) give me a necklace. BUT! does anyone believe 8hrs out there the day before & getting late for hours before meeting the birthday girl up with a pearl necklace? i think it can be up next for 'Incredible Tales'.
unglam eating thereafter. and he got whoozy a little.. blabbering alot of things. alot of things to talk, bout this bout that.. didn't see him like that before.. & he sent me home, right to my doorsteps. i'm not exactly that esctatic, on the whole i feel alright, suppressing that sadder side of me. but i really dislike this year's birthday. next year, it's 21st. something that really holds alot of hope on. be it the beginning of another stage of my life(adulthood), key to hardcore freedom, R21. the very significant year. i just want it to be alot better than this mess this year. something that i never had before. i need to feel that "it's the bestest birthday ever" feeling. do come back to this entry next year. and see what's fufilled & a least disappointed girl i am.eLy
signed off..
1:39 PM
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
yesterday.. i found myself stained in blood.. the feeling of blood dripping down.. a part of me, but no longer mine.. devastated & crying.. it's not the site that hurt.. but rather my heart.. next.. i'm cleaning the scene.. to just make sure no one knows or found what happened to me.. at that point of time, i really wish my whole room will be flooded with my blood..
& i woke up 2.35am.. my surrounding is dark and quiet.. there's no blood around, i wasn't cleaning anything but holding onto my bloster.. it felt as if i've slept a very long time.. thinking back, i really do not know what's with me.. the blood and suicide sttempt.. i hope someone can decode this dream/nightmare of mine..
10:55 AM
Dave Teo gets 9 years jail term & 18 strokes of cane.
and yeap.. this guy is going jail.. he's on the news everywhere today.. somehow when everyone is saying that he deserved it & all.. i kinda feel sorry for him. my sympathy.. he may have committed a grave mistake for intending to kill his girlfriend, and the sentences to jail him is rather appropriate.. but the caning part came a little bit too harsh.. a teenager to bear 18 strokes.. it gonna hurt alot.. both physically and mentally.. the lost of best years of his life he could have, the lost of his freedom, the lost of his love, the lost of everything.. from the papers, i learnt of his past.. his poor brother (his nearest kin) whom he lost years back.. his heavy gambler mother who would often hit them whenever she lost money, father who's kept behind bars as well, for drugtrafficking.. & grandma who died not long after his arrest last year.. it isn't easy for a 20yrs old like me to go thru all these if i am dave myself.. a very complicated family..
now he's gonna go in there.. an even sadded things to have.. just because of this girl..
Crystal(Thank god i didn't chose this name 10yrs ago..) Liew, the ex-girlfriend of his broke up with him 5 months back.. suggested the breakup though she said it pains her to initiate coz dave had been VERY RESTRICTING towards her getting together with her circle of friends and guys around her.. ABUSIVE verbally and physically too, i heard.. i mean.. true lahh.. if i'm in her shoe i'd have that breaking up idea too.. but to part a 3 years ++ relationship from boyfriend to another guy girl, sound very ridiculous.. of coz dave fused into this madness.. aiiyahh.. whatever the case.. i read [here] & [here] and found that i've got this Crystal Liew's syndrome.. alot of similarity here there.. but let's just hope that my name won't surface in headlines like that.. tsk....
poor fella.. dave, hope you're not gonna spiral down into trouble further.. this is a valuable lesson to take.. do make yourself a better person in there. everything can be started afresh.. do not let your family, or relatives down.. nor do you let the Justice Tay's hope on you be diminished.. less than a decade later, you can still continue your steps from there.. things are never to late to start from inside jail. good luck. =)
ps: i don't know him at all..
{Crystal Liew}
{Kervon Lim} -> Crystal's Lesbo gf
8:12 AM
Thursday, July 3, 2008
suddenly.. i felt time passed a hell lot fast.. i thought my day was just few months ago.. shit man...
and i've alot of things i want very suddenly.. and i kept expecting things every year, but always in dismay.. no one's to blame, coz i never tell anyone.. yeap! don't bother about this entry.. it's very random and rubbishy..
and shit my birthday.. projects, assignments and whatever.. school is out to play me out.. sighz...
7:28 PM
