Saturday, September 13, 2008

my dearest nanny's husband, whom i dearly called "papa", passed on. 28th Aug, when i was quarreling with pauL late that night. i still can't remember how much he has done for me, everything's so vague. my daddy told me how doting he was, while sending me home, i'd persistently go for those 2ocents kiddy rides along the whole stretch of shophouses. normally, an adult wouldn't have such kinda patience. moreover, he and me isn't blood-related at all, i'm just someone to have him paid to look after, why would he bother to spend on me?
my nanny cried when she saw me, saying there's no more him, there's no more, he wun be around anymore; i held back my tears. she also mentioned how much he cares for me just like a daddy and his lil girl. it's just so painful when i've no recollection at all.
i only remember me hiding whenever my dad come over to pick me up, pretending to be asleep, wishing he'd come only tomorrow. cried whenever my plan foiled and dragged home. i love spending my times there alot alot; with my childhood friend as well.
i remember me sneakily run to the kitchen and play with lil fishes he caught and played with them till they died, squashed them, threw them.. i know i'm a mean lil bratz.
years back, after i moved. i did went back to find them. at one glance, the house is near empty, setting is somewhat still there, but no one's in the house. disappointed about the fact that they could have moved, i set for home. along my way in the shophouses, i saw a familiar face but i wasn't sure if it's him or not, he was talking with his friends, i didn't manage to pick up the courage to come up to him; so afraid that i might get the wrong person. i missed the reunion with him in the end.