Saturday, September 13, 2008
people.
i don't mean to disappear like that.. it's just that i'm going thru attachment, and lotsa unhappy things happens to me at one go.. that's something that dreadfully bad..
my 2 pairs of little ones gave birth to a total of 8 babies. but sadly i've only 4 with me now.. they passed on.. yea.. my "papa" passed on too.. and YOU, you left me just in the times i'm grieving and busy on a whole lot of things, when i'm stressing up and fretting over your persistence in not letting go of others, having flings behind me. among all, you hurt me the most.
i'm depressive everyday, and tell me. who would wait a whole hour for you, hoping a familiar silhoulette would come and pick me up, although i knew you'd never come.
tell me, why would i teared every night when you fail to show up? when what you did, you never felt the rights to care for me more nor did you understand how hurt i am, but to go out late at night to have your fun. my heart is failing me, soon i may follow the steps of cardiac arrest as that dearest "papa" of mine. and i'm losing hairs everyday; more than you could imagine. everyone left, when i'm having these depressive episodes, what good is some bf like you?
if back then, you are talking about starting over and be just what we used to be. i don't think our relationship earlier on, comes with those girls, comes with you texting girls behind me, shielding them instead of me. i don't think that's what we used to have. if that is call that you want me back, you'd have long delete them to prevent us from quarrelling further, since they are always the topics that's between us.
how many of you have really seen the real me when i've put down my mask?
everytime i closed my eyes, it's burning me intensely. it felt as though i've not been closing my eyes for long. then they started to tear, with me trying to look elsewhere to prevent them from falling. and i could only see you having fun out and late at night. you never felt a thing, neither do you felt hurt or sad about it. or in fact, when have you?
i could still be waiting for you to pick me up, right at this time, you know? ="(
2:24 PM
